An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing and kick a woman off the plane after she refused to stop singing Whitney Houston’s ‘I Will Always Love You” earlier this week.  This has to be the most bizarre story I’ve heard in all my years flying.  I remember an emergency landing from a passenger passing out in the bathroom and another from a heart attack.  But singing?  Check out the You-Tube video when you get a chance.  This shows the passenger being taken off the plane still singing!

What’s the craziest story you have of strange passenger behavior?

Last month TSA reported their plans to replace the current body scanners, due to concerns of patient privacy rights.  Evidently the current machines show semi-nude images with rather inappropriate clear views of genitals.  There are also studies that suggest that frequent flyers are at risk of radiation exposure.  So, finally…the machines are being replaced with ones that will supposedly provide only a generic outline of the passengers…”parts.”

Thought I would share some of the best TSA customer complaints in regards to the body scanners…some of these are funny.

1. “No to scanners. You want to see my junk? Fine. But first buy me a drink.”
2. “You’re really asking us if we want you to be checking out our genitals in the name of national security?”
3. “I opted out once and I felt like crying because I’m not a touchy feel person and well, when you are using feminine hygiene products, NO ONE wants to be touched anywhere near there…”
4. “Bunch of perverts! You are slowing down our economy.”
5. “I spent over 36 years on active duty in the United States Navy. Had numerous very high security clearances and was a qualified Nuclear Weapons delivery pilot. Being ‘frisked’ or forced into an X-ray machine and treated as a common criminal [is] disgusting to someone who dedicated a large portion of his life to the defense of the united States.”
6. “I love the new body scan system. I have two artificial knee replacements, and was always put in the uncomfortable position of having to step out of line for an intrusive pat-down. Now, I stand in the machine like everyone else, and I guess they see the artificial knees and I go right through. I’m as happy as can be!”

It appears we are in for some more flight delays across the country.  The reduction in staffing is creating a significant slow down in planes being able to get off the gate, but not nearly as bad as originally predicted.  Most airlines are sending emails to their passengers suggesting you give yourself more time for security and check your flight status.  Today I received letters from both Delta and Jet Blue.

Here is the breakdown released Friday, According to the Associated Press:

In the most extreme case, the furloughs could delay flights up to 210 minutes at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, depending upon the time of day and other factors. The FAA said, however, that the average delay will be far less, about 11 minutes.

Other airports for which officials provided delay estimates include Newark, N.J., with maximum delays of 51 minutes and average delays of about 20 minutes; John F. Kennedy in New York, with maximum delays of 50 minutes and average 12 minutes; LaGuardia in New York, with maximum delays of 80 minutes and average 30 minutes; Los Angeles International, with maximum delays of 67 minutes, and average 10 minutes, and Chicago’s O’Hare, with maximum delays of 132 minutes, average 50 minutes.

Last week I shared the most recent ranking of our US based airlines.  Both American and US Air were on the low end of that report in 9th and 10th place.  Now they have announced their plans to merge.  One can only wonder, could two terrible airlines somehow become better if they merge?  Let’s look at some other airlines who tried…

Song – Remember them?  Could have been the next JetBlue.  In flight free entertainment, expanded leg room, and one of the best on time records of any airline.  Delta bought their planes and gutted them out to smash as many customers in one plane as possible.

NorthWest  Airlines – Another casualty courtesy of Delta (again).  These planes were older, I’ll give you that…but customer service was much better.  And how did prices from BOS to DET go from $299 to $499 overnight?

Continental – Merged with United in 2010, surpassing Delta as the world’s largest airline.  Where was United on that list of best to worst airlines?…oh yeah, LAST PLACE!

See if you remember any of these merges.  Wonder if they fared any better?  What do you remember?

·  AirTran Airways

• 1997 – Bought by ValuJet Airlines, kept the AirTran name
• 2010 – Bought by Southwest Airlines, will retain the Southwest name.

·  Alaska Airlines

• 1986 – Acquired Jet America Airlines.
• 1986 – Acquired Horizon Air, which continues to operate as a separate airline.

·  America West Airlines

• 2005 – Merged with bankrupt US Airways, retaining the US Airways name.

·  American Airlines

• 1971 – Acquired Trans Caribbean Airways
• 1987 – Acquired Air California
• 1997 – Acquired Reno Air
• 2001 – Acquired TWA
• 2013 – Merged with US Airways. Surpassed Delta as the world’s largest carrier, kept American name.

·  Continental Airlines

• 1934 – Begins as Varney Speed Lines
• 1982 – Acquired by Texas International / Merges, retains Continental name
• 1987 – merges with People Express, Frontier, and New York Air
• 1987 – Acquires PBA and Britt Airways from People Express merger / creates Continental Express
• 2010-2012 – Merged with United Airlines. Overtook Delta as the world’s largest airline by passenger traffic in 2011, kept United name.

·  Delta Air Lines

• 1924 – Started as Huff Daland Dusters
• 1928 – Huff Daland Dusters was purchased by C.E. Woolman and renamed Delta Air Service after the Mississippi Delta
• 1953 – Purchased the Chicago and Southern Air Lines, and flew under the name Delta C&S for the next two years
• 1972 – Purchased Northeast Airlines
• 1984 – Established the Delta Connection (ASA, Comair, Skywest, …)
• 1987 – Merged with Western Airlines
• 1991 – Purchase of Pan Am’s European routes, and acquired Pan Am’s shuttle, forming what is today Delta Shuttle
• 1996 – Delta Express began service, ended November 2003
• 2003 – Song began service, ended May 2006
• 2008-2010 – Merged with Northwest Airlines. Became the world’s largest carrier by passenger traffic in 2008, kept Delta name

·  Northeast Airlines

• 1972 – Delta purchased Northeast Airlines

·  Northwest Airlines

• 1916 – Founded by Col. Lewis Patenaude, under the name Northwest Airways
• 1927 – Began flying passengers
• 1949 – With its new routes to the far east, re-branded itself as Northwest Orient Airlines
• 1986 – Purchased Republic Airlines, and dropped the word Orient from its brand name
• 2008-2010 – Merged with Delta. Became world’s largest airline by passenger traffic in 2008 under the Delta name.

·  Pan Am

• 1979 – Merged with National Airlines
• 1991 – Delta Air Lines purchased Pan Am’s European routes, and acquired Pan Am’s Shuttle

·  SkyWest Airlines

• – Acquired Atlantic Southeast Airlines

·  Southwest Airlines

• 1985 – Acquired Muse Air
• 1993 – Acquired Morris Air
• 2008 – Acquired certain assets of bankrupt ATA Airlines
• 2010 – Acquired AirTran and will retain name Southwest Airlines

·  Trans World Airlines

• 1986 – Purchased Ozark Airlines
• 2001 – American Airlines purchased TWA, retained name American Airlines

·  United Airlines

• – Merged with Capital
• 2010-2012 – Merged with Continental Airlines. Surpassed Delta as the world’s largest carrier. Kept United name

·  US Airways

• – Started as All American Aviation Company, renamed All American Airlines and then Allegheny Airlines
• – Purchased Lake Central Airlines and Mohawk Airlines
• – Changed name to USAir
• – Purchased Pacific Southwest Airlines and Piedmont Airlines
• – Changed name to US Airways
• 2005 – Merged with America West, keeping the US Airways brand
• 2013 – Merged with American Airlines. Surpassed Delta as the world’s largest carrier, kept American name.

·  Western Airlines

• 1925 – First incorporated as Western Air Express by Harris Hanshue
• 1926 – Western’s first flight took place
• 1928 – Reincorporated as Western Air Express Corp.
• 1930 – Purchased Standard Airlines (subsidiary of Aero Corp. of Ca. founded in 1926). WAE with Fokker aircraft merged with Transcontinental Air Transport to form TWA.
• 1934 – Western Air Express broke off from TWA and briefly changed its name to General Air Lines, returning to the name Western Air Express after several months
• 1941 – Western Air Express changed its name to Western Air Lines, which was later altered to Western Airlines
• 1967 – merged with Pacific Northern Airlines
• 1987 – Delta merged with Western Airlines (kept Delta name)

The annual report shares some interesting ratings on all the US based airlines.  The first thing I read was that Delta had more pets die on its planes than any other.  Not that I ever travel with a pet, but interesting statistic just the same.  I just had to share that tidbit.  Ranked in order of timely arrivals, baggage handling, overbooked flights, denied boarding, and customer service are:

1. Virgin America
2. Jet Blue
3. AirTran
4. Delta
5. Hawaiian Air
6. Alaska Air
7. Frontier
8. Southwest
9. US Air
10. American
11. American Eagle
12. SkyWest
13. Express Jet
14. United Airlines

Here are some passenger oriented key points:

• Virgin America comes out on top in terms of timely arrivals, baggage handling and customer service.  83.5% of all flights arrived on time (industry average is 81.8%)
• The second-ranked airline in terms of overall quality was Jet Blue, which posted better than average performance in terms of on-time arrivals, mishandled bags and customer complaints.
• In last place, United Airlines, came in well below average in all categories; 77.4% on-time arrivals, 1.83 denied boardings per 1,000 passengers, 3.87 mishandled bags per 1,000 passengers, and 4.24 customer complaints per 1,000 passengers.  Wow, sorry for you all who fly United.
• Hawaiian Airlines has the best on-time performance of all the airlines in the report, at 93.4%.
• American Airlines had the worst, at 76.9%.
• United had the most customer complaints of any airline.

I wish I had more opportunity to fly Hawaiian Air!  You can find this report at Forbes.com and on most airline websites.

I think the concept sounds a little crazy, but yet Samoa Air makes the announcement to charge $4.16 per kilogram for the passengers weight with their luggage.  The airlines suggests that it encourages their passengers to be healthy and watch their weight.  I’m skeptical at best, and not because I’m over weight.  If anything I never check and my luggage never weighs much at all.  I like the idea of charging for bags by weight and size maybe…but certainly not the passenger.  Just my thought…